*remembers outer space*
this is my sisters contacts
spending this week’s food money on dumb shit to do nitrous oxide out of a condom holla
We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger
WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE
I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth
"If more girls wanted to be scientists, there would be more female scientists"
*takes a deep breath* WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT ACTIVELY DISCOURAGES FEMALE INTELLIGENCE BY PAINTING IT AS A NON FEMININE TRAIT AND SETS UP MALES TO BE IN POSITIONS OF ACADEMIC SUPERIORITY DESPITE THERE BEING NO CORRELATION BETWEEN GENDER AND ACADEMIC ABILITY thank you for your time
*does something incredibly stupid or embarrassing* well, one day we’ll all be fucking dead. Everybody dead. We’ll all die. Fucking dead. Everyone. Fucking everyone gone. No more bad times.
"What do you plan to do with your future?"
People blown over in streets as Storm Ivar hits Norway
makin’ my way dOWNTO—-
MAKIN’ MY WAY UPTOWN
not gonna lie at first I thought these people were really good at the Smooth Criminal lean
step 1. buy several hundred bags of miniature marshmallows
step 2. somehow get upwind
step 3. open the bags and let the sugary puffs fly free
step 4. enjoy the sight of people getting absolutely pelted with marshmallows
step 5. ?????????
step 6. profit
This is what happens when you don’t separate your colors and whites.
… no. You didn’t clean the lint filter.
Did you turn it off and then back on?!
a white girl shows up to school fifteen minutes late with starbucks because she was working on her college essays and had to stay up later than she thought because she was doing charity work all afternoon so her parents let her sleep in then bought her the coffee so should she wouldn’t be exhausted at school in her AP classes fuck white girl jokes
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
This is so accurate it hurts